Being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest joys. But when families go through separation or conflict, staying in touch with your grandchildren can become unexpectedly difficult. The good news? Australian family law recognises just how important grandparents can be, and there are legal options available if you’re struggling to stay connected.
To start with, do grandparents have legal rights in Australia?
Under the Family Law Act 1975, grandparents don’t have automatic rights to see their grandchildren, but the law does say that children have a right to maintain relationships with important people in their lives, and that includes you.
The courts look at what’s in the child’s best interests, not just the wishes of parents or grandparents. So if your relationship with your grandchild is loving, safe and supportive, there’s a good chance the law will support contact.
What legal options do grandparents have to try to organise contact with their grandchildren?
Family changes such as separation, divorce or disagreements can make it challenging for grandparents to maintain regular contact with their grandchildren. Although grandparents don’t have automatic rights, there are legal avenues available for grandparents who wish to spend time with their grandchildren, especially when it supports the child’s wellbeing.
These options might include mediation or using Family Dispute Resolution services, or, in some cases, applying to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for visitation or parenting orders. While the law prioritises the child’s best interests above all, it does encourage maintaining meaningful relationships with extended family members, including grandparents, whenever possible.
Understanding these options can help grandparents navigate difficult family dynamics and stay connected to their grandchildren.
Steps grandparents can take to stay connected
Family change can be emotional, especially when it affects your connection with your grandchildren. While legal avenues exist, sometimes the most effective way to stay close is through thoughtful communication and flexibility. Here are some practical tips to help maintain strong, respectful relationships:
1. Approach conversations with respect and openness
If you’re facing challenges around access, try initiating calm, non-confrontational conversations with the child’s parents or guardians. Express your feelings without placing blame, and focus on why continuing your relationship with your grandchild matters. Listening as much as you speak can go a long way toward rebuilding trust.
2. Be flexible and accommodating
Every family is different, and routines can change, especially after a separation. Being open to different visitation times, locations, or activities shows you’re willing to adapt and puts the child’s needs first. Even short visits or shared routines (like a weekly phone call or a video storytime) can help nurture your bond.
3. Respect household rules and boundaries
Parents often have specific rules about food, bedtime, screen time or discipline. Sticking to these rules, even if you disagree, helps avoid conflict and shows that you support their parenting. This builds trust and increases the chances of being invited back.
4. Use technology to bridge the gap
If in-person visits aren’t possible, due to distance, illness, or unresolved tension, try staying connected through video calls, voice messages or shared activities like reading the same book or sending postcards. Small gestures, like recording a happy birthday message or attending school events virtually, can make a big difference.
5. Show consistency and patience
Rebuilding or maintaining contact takes time, especially if there’s been conflict. Showing up consistently, whether by checking in, sending a message, or simply remembering essential dates, lets your grandchild know you’re thinking of them and want to stay involved.
6. Stay focused on your grandchild’s wellbeing
Above all, keep your focus on what’s best for your grandchild. Avoid using them as a go-between or speaking negatively about their parents around them. Children pick up on tension quickly, so showing kindness and stability helps them feel secure.
Consider addressing your issues with the child’s parents as a starting point
Before considering legal action, it’s often helpful to try addressing the situation directly with the child’s parent or guardian, whether that’s your own child or their ex-partner. A respectful conversation can sometimes lead to clarity, compromise, or at least an understanding of each party’s concerns. You might want to explore family counselling, mediation, or even supervised visits if trust or safety is an issue.
If the parent is facing mental health challenges, substance misuse, or other complex life circumstances, your support, rather than pressure, might go further. Ask how you can be helpful and focus the conversation on the child’s wellbeing. In many cases, parents are more open to contact when they feel understood rather than judged.
Things to consider when family separation is affected by family violence
It’s also important to consider situations where the child’s parent (your child’s ex-partner) is avoiding contact for reasons you may not fully understand, or keeping you out of the child’s life for genuine safety reasons. If your child is the other parent and there is a history or suspicion of domestic or family violence, they may be taking steps to protect themselves and the child.
In these cases, rebuilding trust and contact takes time, and your best path forward may involve professional support from family law specialists or social workers who can help you to address these sensitive dynamics with care. It may not be in the child’s best interests for you to know where the child lives in some cases, after parents separate.
Where possible, taking the time to understand the reasons behind reduced or restricted contact can help you respond constructively, and possibly re-open the door to a relationship with your grandchild.
What can you do if contact is cut off?
If you’re being kept from your grandkids, here are some options to consider:
Mediation, or Family Dispute Resolution
Mediation, or Family Dispute Resolution, offers a structured way to discuss issues with the child’s parents and work toward an agreement with the support of a neutral, trained facilitator. Before going to court, you’ll usually need to try Family Dispute Resolution (mediation), where everyone has a chance to talk things through with the help of a trained professional.
Parenting plans
A more flexible, informal agreement that outlines how and when you’ll spend time together is great for families who want to stay out of court. If you and the child’s parents agree, you can formalise that arrangement through the court.
Consent orders
Consent orders are a way to formalise an agreement reached through mediation. They’re approved by the court and become legally binding, ensuring ongoing contact arrangements are clear and enforceable.
Parenting orders
You can apply to the court to request time with your grandchildren. These orders legally outline who the child spends time with.
What if you’re already caring for your grandchild?
In some families, grandparents take on the role of full-time carers, often unexpectedly. This can happen when both their parents are unable to care for them due to issues like illness, addiction, domestic violence, incarceration, or other serious circumstances. If this sounds familiar, it’s important to know you’re not alone, and that there are steps you can take to protect your grandchild’s welfare and gain formal recognition of your role.
Under the Family Law Act, grandparents (and other family members) can apply for parental responsibility or a parenting order through the court, on a temporary or full-time basis. These orders provide you with legal authority to make important decisions about your grandchild’s education, health care and day-to-day needs. The court will always consider what is in the child’s best interests, including the need for safety, stability, and connection to meaningful relationships.
If the child’s situation involves family violence or urgent concerns, it’s critical to seek legal advice early. In some cases, the court can issue interim or emergency orders to protect the child while longer-term decisions are being made.
Support for grandparents raising grandchildren
When you’re the primary carer for a grandchild, the financial and emotional load can be significant. Thankfully, there are government support options available to help ease some of that burden.
You may be eligible for:
- Family Tax Benefit
- Grandparent Child Care Benefit (to help cover approved child care costs)
- Child support from one or both parents
- The ability to claim Medicare benefits on behalf of the child if you’re their primary carer
You can also seek guidance from a family lawyer to access legal support to manage complex care arrangements. Providing a stable home for your grandchild is no small task. But with the right support, both legal and financial, it’s possible to create a safe, nurturing environment that prioritises a child’s welfare and wellbeing.
When to seek legal advice
Being a grandparent is special, and maintaining contact with grandchildren is important for everyone involved. While the law prioritises children’s needs over automatic grandparent rights, there are ways to work towards keeping those family ties strong, especially with patience, communication and the right support.
If you’ve found yourself unexpectedly separated from your grandchildren, you’re not alone. And there is help. Whether through a parenting plan or a court order, the law offers pathways to keep those precious relationships going, because in the end, it’s about what’s best for the child.
Family law can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions are running high. Talking to a family lawyer can help you understand your rights and the best path forward. Whether it’s attending mediation, drafting an agreement, or going to court, we’re here to support you.
